digging up old memories...

i'm currently a fangirl..meaning? haha i love kpop boybands...man, how did i become one? hmmm let's have a short trip down memory lane...

it all started with the song "Sorry Sorry" by Super Junior...i loved it so much that i googgled the band and fell instantly in love with them. their music is so so so different from what I used to listen to. They're so so so cute and dorky and just so gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....hahah didn't i say that this was gonna be short?!

okay, so now, about the title...I've been pretty much listening to Kpop ONLY for more or less 6 months...it's so so so addictive! i swear!!!

So tonight, i decided to dig up my old mp3 player which houses my most loved "emo and/or heartbreak" songs. argh, all the memories started to flood me! now i know why i suddenly a fangirl...i wanted to escape....i wanted to forget...and fandom was the perfect distraction! it was something new, something totally different! it made me happy and sometimes, even delusional! i'd spend the whole day watching concert vids. looking at pictures and reading random KPOP news...fandom was my sweet escape. i felt so good and so happy and so so so inspired...and ow, because of my damn curiosity, i listened to this stupid mp3 player...i'm feeling emo again and i hate it..

i've seen that since i became a fangirl, i smiled more often...i wasn't so negative anymore...in short, i'm happy...that's a big difference if you compare the now dannice to the then dannice...now, i cry less...

i'm currently feeling emo...naman, i hate it! the thing is, i can't seem to turn this damn thing off! it's like i wanna stop but a part of me wants to continue...but i don't want to continue! i don't want to get hurt anymore...i just wanna be happy...i want my sweet escape again...grrrr...this is the reason i filled my phone with more KPOP...so that i can hide this stupid mp3 player and not see it and not listen to it... OMG, i'm so incoherent right now!

aigoo, i'm weird aren't i?! XD

BV!

okay, so as we all know, BV stands for BAD VIBES (duh!)

so, today is BV day!ugh, okay i just really wanna rant!damn it! Why?!

okay, here's the thing. i was supposed to go out with my irreg friends tomorrow...nothing special, just a little bonding time with them. my birthday is coming up (may 12) so i was like, "i should treat myself, since it's my birthday and all. i should go out." when i asked my mom, she was like "anu nanaman?aalis ka nanaman?may pera ka?wala. oh pwes, dito ka!"

i was like, WTF? me, not allowed to go out?!!!!me?!! that's why i don't stay here in pasig if i'm planning to meet up with my friends...cause i know that my mom will never let me out of the house!damn it, she thinks i'm still like 10 years old! shit, i'm actually like crying now!

i really wanted to go with my friends! i really miss them! i haven't seen for like a month already!damn it, why can't she just let me go?!!!! i'm not her puppet! i have a sister, she can control her!

i'm sorry for ranting like this but i'm really used to getting what i want...well, most of the time. i'm a self confessed spoiled brat so i guess things like this really get me down.

or maybe i'm being like this because he's leaving for singapore...one day before my birthday..oh well, i'm nothing to him...only, i was expecting a greet...at least a greet in my fb page..oh well..

BV! damn it!shit!fuck!crap!

i'm a spoiled brat...

25 ramndom things about me

Honestly, i can't think of anything to write. This past month has been an emotional rollercoaster. There were times that i was really happy. There were times that i felt so down. There were times that i felt so inspired and motivated to study and do good in terms of academics. Then there were times that i got so lazy that i didn't even wanna go to school. See, a whirlwind of emotions...I don't even know how to start!haha!



Okay, so maybe i have started an entry....but i don't know how to suppport it..ooh i just thought of something. I've been seeing my friends do this "25 random truths about me " on Facebook. So what the hell right? That's better than me ranting and complaining in this entry...here it goes...

25 Random truths about me

1. 
   
   My full name is Dannice Rose Alexandra Almario Asuzano


2. 
   
   I am 19 years old...actually, i'm turning 20 this coming May 12


3. 
   
   The thought of turning 20 years old makes me cringe. It feels so old to be 20. No offense to all the 2o and above people out there.


4. 
   
   I am the living, breathing example of a classic NBSB...as in "No boyfriend since birth". Okay, you can stop laughing now...


5. 
   
   I am currently amazed at how Google maps work. I think it's genius haha!


6. 
   
   I can't eat without ketchup.


7. 
   
   My mom says that I eat like a construction worker. Mothers know best.


8. 
   
   I am very picky when it comes to food. I don't eat vegetables and i seldom eat fruits. I'm gonna die soon haha!


9. 
   
   Smoking tops my "vice list". Drinking comes in second.


10. 
    
    I am allergic to seafoods. People say that i'm missing half of my life cause i can't eat seafoods. I don't really have a problem being allergic to seafoods cause i don't eat them in the first place.


11. 
    
    I am also allergic to alcohol. But i still like to drink. I only drink till i'm in the "tipsy" state. i don't really like hangovers and the puking in the morning part. Like i said, i'm allergic to alcohol so after i drink, i get really red and itchy and my allergies can last for a week.


12. 
    
    I have lots of crushes. I actually have a mental list of all of my pas and current crushes...i know what you're thinking...FREAK!


13. 
    
    I am generally a lazy person. I hate doing schoolwork. When i was in elementary and highschool, i never studied for quizzes and i'd only study for major exams if i knew that i was failing. i relied on my stock knowledge alone. In college, it won't work...beleive me.


14. 
    
    You'll often see me with my headphones on. It's either i'm listening to music or the radio.


15. 
    
    I love radio. I'm recently entertaining the idea of being a student DJ. I'd still have to pass the auditions which i haven't done yet haha!


16. 
    
    I hate it when my mom nags me in the morning. It's the most annoying thing on earth. Why can't parents lay off on the sermons till after lunch?!


17. 
    
    I am a tomboy. When I was a kid, i used to dress up in big shirts and baggy jeans and play boys games. Now, I'm still a bit boyish but at least i dress like a girl.

18. I think that chinese new year is more important than valentine's day. That's coming from a bitter person's perspective. and by the way, tikoy is much more delicious than flowers!

19. i am the eldest among 3 siblings. i have a sister named hannah (9 years old) and a brother named gabriel (1 year old). i love my brother so much. he is the cutest thing on earth! as for my sister, well, let's just say she's a family member...

20. i am kind of afraid of the dark. it's freaky especially when there are weird noises while i'm in the dark. i get all paranoid and scared.

21. i sometimes talk to myself..i'm such a freak haha!

22.i tend to get shy around new people. but once you get to know me, no more shyness and more noise and laughs haha!

23. i tend to stutter especially when i'm nervous.

24. i've been wanting to audition for radio1, the only prblem is, i forgot how to make a proper resume haha!

25. i've just completed 25 random things about myself!yay haha!

smoke and mirrors...

this title also happens to be lifehouse's new album...nice isn't it?haha i'm not a huge fan,but i like their stuff...haha and of course, jason wade is H-O-T-T hott!haha!

well,if it isn't obvious, i'm a smoker..shocking?i think not...how did i develop such a vice?well, believe it or not, i did this all by myself. i know what you're thinking, i was influenced by people around me..well, maybe i was indirectly influenced...some of my high school classmates are smokers and my mom,2 lolas and titos are smokers...so basically, i grew used to seeing the people around me smoke. i don't mind...it's natural,so to speak.

at first i said to myself, "i'm never gonna smoke"...but i guess curiosity got the better of me and i ended up trying a cigarette. i didn't like it at first, i got a bit dizzy and my mouth tasted bitter. i said that i'm never gonna try it again...but,again,here comes good old curiosity and i ended up lighting another stick...this time, i didn't really mind the dizziness and bitter taste...i kinda liked it..it felt...liberating.

i didn't want anyone to know that i smoked. at first, i was embarrassed to have developed such a vice, i didn't want anyone to know.but i told some of my friends and i started smoking outside the confines of my bedroom. again, it felt liberating.

people saw me as someone who knew better...and i didn't. they thought that i'd always be a good girl...i'd do right things and i'd shy away from bad things...well,guess what?i'm not such a goody goody after all.they were surprised to know that i smoked...

now,i didn't really care if people saw me smoking (people except my parents and relatives).most of my friends know that i smoke...and they don't have a problem with it...after all, it never changed my personality..i'm still the shock absorber that i used to be...i'm still dannice..only now,i'm dannice who smokes...

if anyone has a problem with that,speak now!i don't need someone who can't accept me for my imperfections...

feels like...hurt

i feel like crying...it's like there's a huge lump in my throat...my eyes ara starting to water yet it seems like the tears won't let themselves flow....i wanna cry, i really do...crying makes me feel better...seriously!but i don't know,the tears won't flow...and i hate that kind of feeling..it's like my own body doesn't want to make me feel better...

why am i being like this? of course it's because of a thing called "heart"...yes,and that thing is broken...don't ask why or who broke it...wel,technically, it's not the heart's fault, it's the hypothalamus that's responsible for our feelings...so, darn ghypothalamaus!!!haha!

when will i ever get tired?why do i keep falling?am i never gonna learn?or maybe i'm just a masochist...am i really that unlikeable?or maybe i'm just plain ugly...maybe...

or maybe i'm destined to spend my whole life alone?oh well, i may not have any experience in relationships, but i sure do have my share of hurt...

the road to a better me...

the journey starts now. i know that i said this in my last entry but now, it's really gonna happen...this is something that i'm so so willing to do...i want to be a better me...smarter,nicer,friendlier and more studious...it's not too late to start participating more when it come to school...like i sadi, i have this goal of being a red neck next sem...i really want to achieve that..not only for myself but also for the family..just something that they can be proud of...i just wanna be good at something...i just wanna prove to people that i can actually achieve something...

last night, i made a decision...i'm not gonna run away from my problems anymore...i can't keep avoiding my problems. the way i see it, problems/ difficulties have a way of sneaking up to you when you least expect it...it always finds a way to turn your life miserable...that's the truth and i know that you guys know that.so from now on, no more hiding,running or shyuing away from all my problems..i'm gonna face them with arms wide open, not that i want to have problems...you know what i mean...

like i always say, "POKER FACE LANG"...

start of something new...

i'm currently uploading pictures on facebook so i've got time to spare..haha!

next week is the start of the 2nd sem...and i intend to make it a very productive sem...these past sems, i feel like i've just been playing and fooling around...i didn't really care much for high grades...i just wanted to pass...but now, i want to change...i'm not gonna tolerate a grade of 3...i want at least a 2 as my lowest grade!haha a bit ambitious, i know...but there's no harm in trying,right?!

i want to be better...i want higher grades,higher scores on tests..adn i want to be a red neck next school year...fyi, a red neck is the 3rd highest position in a kitchen and i intend to be one of them...so starting next week, i shall do everything to become a red neck...i'll work extra hard...i have to prove to people that i have what it takes...that i'm not all fun and games...that i'm not stupid!because i'm not!

also, i want to improve my flair skills...i'm not that great but i can say that i'm actually better than my other batchmates...haha and it makes me proud to hear that they think that i kick ass when it come to flairing...at least i'm good at something, right?!hahaha!

i want to have more fun this sem! haha this is the last sem that i'll be able to spend time with my batch 2011 friends an i want it to be memorable!MORE PARTIES,MORE BOOZE AND DEFINITELY MORE FUN MEMORIES!of course, I PROMISE TO GET HIGH GRADES HAHA!

promises that i intend to fulfill...this is gonna be a great sem...